what words can do...

..."Is that my name up on that list? Does someone know that I exist? Is this a mistake?
Am I even Awake? Pinch me now to make sure.
Yes that's my name in black and white, maybe I'm doing something right.
WOW! I feel so much better than before!"...

..."I don't have the time to cry. I'm too busy loving my name up on that list, kind of a cool ironic twist. Who else can I tell? Oh Wait where's my cell? Mom will fall on the floor. HEY MOM!"

..."Look at my name in black and white, your daughter's doing something right.
I feel so much better, I am so much better than before!"
-"So Much Better" Legally Blonde: The Musical

Always an Ethel, Never a Lucy.
Always the Step-Sister. Never Cinderella.
Always the comedic relief in a drama. Never the drama.

Until today.

Last night and Sunday night, I auditioned for a show that, well, honestly, I didn't love at the start but fell in love with.

I'd been planning this audition since, well, last January when the show was selected. And I knew, after talking to the director that I HAD to be part of something that was going to be a really passionate piece of theatre. I would work props, set dressing, costumes, ANYTHING. Then I was eligible to be a producer and I said I would. I just had to be a part of this show.

I decided to audition. And was sick about it the entire week and weekend. I wanted to be Kate Keller more than anything. And after doing my research, I am so thrilled it is me. This woman, young woman, marries a man much older than her and really didn't know what she was getting into. She has her first child, Helen, and we all know how that went. The heartbreak of feeling like a failure as a mother is something I can understand...more than anybody can and will ever know.
And last night was one of the most emotional auditions I have ever been on. The feeling that was in that room at times was disgusting and I was just thanking whomever I thank for Jo and Jeff.

And I am sure that this may stir the ridiculous shit even more and I was told my numerous people to let it go...and I have. This has NOTHING to do with that. This is me, being ecstatic that I get to play a serious seriously awesome ROLE (not the kind you butter....) and I get to do it in a supportive environment with a supportive cast and crew that I love.

We should all be supporting ALL local theatre...if we all love it like we say we do.

And I do.